Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tikkun Olam

'Tikkun Olam' is a hebrew phrase which literally means 'to repair the world'. It is a kabbalistic concept which I'm not professing to know alot about at all, only a tiny bit...it is about helping to make the world more perfect.....anyway......today I told A all about what I'd been processing with regard to my previous entry. How I'd love us to adopt an international child after (please god) we have one or two of our own (that's the fantasy). We talked about it for a quite a while, what it would mean to us? what it would potentially be like?....& A likes the idea too, alot. For me - I believe its our way of contributing to tikkun olam. Its our bit, its how we can contribute to the world. Its adopting a child for them, to give them a loving home - not because we desire a family but because we can do our bit & thats how. On so many levels it feels so right for me but of course I have no idea whats ahead...will we ever have our own? Will we adopt because we have to? I don't know the answers to those questions....but I know this is what I would love A & I to do this lifetime, how we would like our family to be.

And tomorrow I must take my sick old body back to work. Im not fully recovered but enough to return. Though I hate having the flu, I actually think the time & space enabled some room for me to process some of this stuff so for that - it was good to be home & ofcourse it was good to be with all my boys. A only leaves for work in the afternoon so it was nice to have sleep ins & not race out in the mad week hype.

It made me want to have a holiday together, but not even necessarily go away....it would be so nice to just have a break where we can both chill out even here at home, sleeping, enjoy spring thays almost here, etc.....but for both of us a holiday isnt in the plans soon. A is away at a conference in 2 weeks for a week & though I appreciate the space, I hate it when he's away.

7 Comments:

Blogger serenity said...

I am sorry you have been sick...

but can totally relate to the Tikkun Olam concept - I didn't have a word for it when we discussed adoption. It feels right somehow, though, doesn't it?

I hope you're feeling back to 100% soon.

My love to you.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

I have found your blog today for the first time, and have read back through all of your archives. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for everything that you have experienced, life is just so unfair sometimes.

I am not exactly in the same boat as you, but I have recently lost my first baby at 16 weeks pregnant, so I am only too aware of the grief, the emptiness and the lonliness...

Like you, and like so many before us, there are no answers for us as to why we lost our baby, so we are about to embark on trying to conceive again (just deciding if it is this cycle, or next), and trying to maintain our positivity and hope.

All the best with your transfer this week, and I hope you're feeling recovered from your flu.

Take care,
Emily (NZ)

9:13 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

I have found your blog today for the first time, and have read back through all of your archives. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for everything that you have experienced, life is just so unfair sometimes.

I am not exactly in the same boat as you, but I have recently lost my first baby at 16 weeks pregnant, so I am only too aware of the grief, the emptiness and the lonliness...

Like you, and like so many before us, there are no answers for us as to why we lost our baby, so we are about to embark on trying to conceive again (just deciding if it is this cycle, or next), and trying to maintain our positivity and hope.

All the best with your transfer this week, and I hope you're feeling recovered from your flu.

Take care,
Emily (NZ)

9:13 AM  
Blogger sube said...

Hope you're feeling better, and glad you've had some time to process.

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Nikole said...

Hope you're feeling better, dear. I hope you do get that holiday together. The concept of 'Tikkun Olam' is beautiful, thank you for sharing it.

9:20 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

I like your Tikkun Olam concept too. It sounds so nice when you put it that way.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
Hugs!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Sweetie, I do understand how international adoption can feel like tikkun olam, but as you think this through now, you will see how much of it is about you as well, and what you want, not just about offering something to a child who doesn't have a home in their own culture. There are a lot of problems you are creating for that child for taking them away from the environment in which they were born, to go along with the oppportunity you are offering them.

And be careful about saying you'll adopt after having 'one or two of your own' - adopted children will be your own, too!

I wish you continued luck in how you set about building your family.

12:37 AM  

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