Friday, June 09, 2006

A fast slippery pulse

No sleep....i was awake alot, it felt strange, normally when i've slept badly all nite, its the mornings when i collapse ino heavy sleep, but not today, i wandered could i be? but chose to put it down to the excitement & stresses of life right now, new job etc....

I headed to my chinese acupuncturist & i felt like i was racing, almost palpitations. i had the needles in for a good 30mins but couldnt really sleep, i lay there, praying, visualisations, trying to be meditative....then she felt my pulse & with confidence said they were fast & slippery & i was probably pregnant. She even congratulated me - what the???

After the shit ive experienced i didnt really want to hear her being so confident not unless she could guarantee me all would be all right & of course she couldnt but she did say that last time when i was pregnant, she hadnt felt my pulse so strong & fast so this time it was good.....

Instantly the stress levels rose, i was intending to do some running around this arvo, retail thero etc & suddenly all i wanted was to head home, rest.....but i couldn't..... i had to head to a hideously boring surburban department store to buy knickers & would you believe panty liners since now i seem to be leaking progesterone pessary - nice hhmmm

So here i am in that mode where i wait & wait & i pray....& create distractions....

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