A Numbers Game

Tomorrow morning the dreaded number game begins. How many follicles will i have? How many eggs will i have at retrieval? how many will fertilise? how many embryos will reach day 5?

It's stressful & anxiety provoking. Last stimulated cycle at the first ultrasound on day 7, i had only four follicles. I was devastated. Even our RE said he was disappointed. Then by retrieval I had 7. Though 7 wasn't a great number it was better than 4. We were warned that probably only one or two would reach blastocyst stage & we had 4 serious embryos make it to day 5 but then we didnt get pregnant anyway....so here we go again....This time though, I've been on chinese herbs for almost 6 mths & other wondrous things like deer antler & royal jelly & ginseng & reshi mushroom capsules...surely all these efforts will be rewarded tomorrow with great numbers & even better quality & then there'll fertilise fantastically & make it to day 5 & then implant securely for the next 9 mths.....please!!!!!

So I try to stay calm & pray & be grateful for what i do have.

& i bloody hope its all ok tomorrow.