Thursday, July 13, 2006

Those were the days

Just a quick note...Im exhausted & want to collapse into bed with Coming to Term. I headed to the path lab this am, got there at 7.15am so I could definitely be first when they open at 7.30 & I was. The pathologist turned up at 7.25 & it took her 40 mins to determine exactly which tubes to collect all this blood for these remote tests she'd clearly never had to collect before. I felt like a friek. I wasnt there for blood sugar or usual standard blood investigations, I was there f0r remote, friek, miscarriage unknown crazy stuff.

She had to fax the request thru to her advisors who still didnt know & had to check with their advisors & finally after 8am we could start. By this time her waiting room was full of poor fasting patients who turn up early for their blood as they are fasting. They didnt know there would be some miscarriage freak patient accosting the pathologist & holding her up all morning.

She started by preparing 15, yes 15 tubes & my usual right arm was over it at 9 tubes. My blood dried up & she swapped arms & my left arm filled another 6 tubes. I put up with it. She was at least polite & lovely but I hated it & wanted it over. Thats why I had to go today after only receiving this referral yesterday arvo. I needed it gone from my to do list, I needed it over.

My miscarriage management nurse called me this arvo. 'Can I pls go back Mon am for one more blood test , only 3 hormones, 1 tube' she promised & then 7 days later & then 3 days after that & thats it for blood tests for the month. Then on Day 26 - the endomtrial biopsy......

Im so sick of it. I told A tonite I cant handle this anymore. I want us never to discuss we are trying to have a baby. We are to just continue & bare these experiences & live our life (all be it in our bomb shelter) & no longer actually describe any of it in terms of 'trying to have a baby'. The very term has become synonymous with pressure, dread, trauma, stress, deprivation, torture etc. Of course we both know we are still trying but even discussing it with A fills the dialogue with anxiety. Lets just get on with it.

I am working from home tomorrow, cramming lots of work in & then heading away with the boys for a w'end away. I know it will fly past but I am so looking forward to our log fire & spa & blissing out. This is our escape w'end from all the recent trauma so I intend to leave our trauma here in our bomb shelter & try to enjoy this w'end like we used to before we began to encounter this miscarriage trauma, when we had innocence, before we even knew we were miscarriers.....those were the days!

43 Comments:

Blogger running wildly said...

You sound just plain fed up, and I don't blame you. You have gone through a lot. As I mentioned in your last post, there is a glimmer of hope in your words that wasn't there before. I hope you cling to that hope. Enjoy a restful weekend away. Ps. thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. Always appreciated.

1:15 AM  
Blogger running wildly said...

PSS. I hope you don't mind but I have put you on my blog links since I find myself checking your blog on a daily basis.

1:20 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

I am so sorry you have had to go through so much. I am thinking of you and hope you have a glorious weekend.

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Nikole said...

Wow--that's a lot of blood. I'm so sorry that all of this testing is so tough. It makes sense that you are plain old fed up.

I hope the weekend away is refreshing.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Jill said...

I hope that all these tests will provide you with some answers. In the meantime, I hope that you have a nice time on your weekend away.

9:55 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

That's a lot of blood, I am sorry. I hope the weekend was restorative and that you're feeling a bit better.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good afternoon many have machines which not insuranced,
you have a unique opportunity only today to receive insurance the machine free of charge
auto insurance
auto insurance
cars insurance
cars insurance
texas car insurance
texas car insurance
car insurance quotes
car insurance quotes
car insurance policy
car insurance policy
xanax
phentermine
buy tramadol

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi people
I do not know what to give for Christmas of the to friends, advise something ....

1:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. Good day
Who listens to what music?
I Love songs Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmm my sweety private weblink collection. I hope you enjoy it !
ass parade
naruto xxx





------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Christmas
merry christmas

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. Prompt how to get acquainted with the girl it to me to like. But does not know about it
I have read through one history
Each of you has your personal story; it is your history. Keeping a diary or writing your feelings in a special notebook is a wonderful way to learn how to think and write about who you are -- to develop your own identity and voice.

People of all ages are able to do this. Your own history is special because of your circumstances: your cultural, racial, religious or ethnic background. Your story is also part of human history, a part of the story of the dignity and worth of all human beings. By putting opinions and thoughts into words, you, too, can give voice to your inner self and strivings.

A long entry by Anne Frank on April 5, 1944, written after more than a year and a half of hiding from the Nazis, describes the range of emotions 14-year-old Anne is experiencing:

". . . but the moment I was alone I knew I was going to cry my eyes out. I slid to the floor in my nightgown and began by saying my prayers, very fervently. Then I drew my knees to my chest, lay my head on my arms and cried, all huddled up on the bare floor. A loud sob brought me back down to earth, and I choked back my tears, since I didn't want anyone next door to hear me . . .

"And now it's really over. I finally realized that I must do my school work to keep from being ignorant, to get on in life, to become a journalist, because that's what I want! I know I can write. A few of my stories are good, my descriptions of the Secret Annex are humorous, much of my diary is vivid and alive, but . . . it remains to be seen whether I really have talent . . .

"When I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappears, my spirits are revived! But, and that's a big question, will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer? I hope so, oh, I hope so very much, because writing allows me to record everything, all my thoughts, ideals and fantasies.

"I haven't worked on Cady's Life for ages. In my mind I've worked out exactly what happens next, but the story doesn't seem to be coming along very well. I might never finish it, and it'll wind up in the wastepaper basket or the stove. That's a horrible thought, but then I say to myself, "At the age of 14 and with so little experience, you can't write about philosophy.' So onward and upward, with renewed spirits. It'll all work out, because I'm determined to write! Yours, Anne M. Frank

For those of you interested in reading some of Anne Frank's first stories and essays, including a version of Cady's Life, see Tales From the Secret Annex (Doubleday, 1996). Next: Reviewing and revising your writing

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

xanax
phentermine
buy tramadol
big breast
merry christmas
ass parade
naruto xxx
auto insurance
auto insurance
cars insurance
cars insurance
texas car insurance
texas car insurance
car insurance quotes
car insurance quotes
car insurance policy
car insurance policy

3:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice site man! Very nicely done. I will be back!
- www.blogger.com 3
samsung ringtone
motorola ringtone
sony ericsson ringtone
nokia ringtone

4:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the info, very much appreciated. Its a little to digest but will keep reading.
- www.blogger.com j
airline ticket sale
online airline ticket
buy airline ticket
airline ticket prices
buy viagra now
credit cards
entertainment
find love
work at home
phentermine

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all!
Do not delete it please. I need money urgent
















G'night

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi
Do not delete it please. I need money urgent












G'night

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://s-url.net/0oi1]diet[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi2]diet pill[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi3]diet plan[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi4]diabetic diet[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi5]diet phentermine[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi6]diet food[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi7]diet hoodia pill[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi8]best diet pill[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oi9]adipex diet pill[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oia]diet program[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oib]weight loss[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oic]weight loss pill[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oid]weight loss tip[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oie]fast weight loss[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oif]natural weight loss[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oig]weight loss plan[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oih]easy weight loss[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oii]low cholesterol diet[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oij]diet supplemental[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oik]weight loss program[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oil]weight loss meridia[/url]
[url=http://s-url.net/0oim]weight loss drug[/url]

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://hometown.aol.com/vizionze/contact-lens-sales.html]contact lens sales[/url] - [url=http://hometown.
aol.com/vizionze/toric-contact-lenses.html]toric contact lenses[/url]
http://hometown.aol.com/vizionze/focus-contact-lenses.html

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://megador.110mb.com/index3.html]walmart eyeglasses[/url] : [url=http://megador.110mb.com/eyeglasses-sale.html]eyeglasses sale[/url]
http://megador.110mb.com/eyeglasses-cheap.html

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://dimedrol.110mb.com/index18.html]free christian nokia ringtones[/url] - [url=http://dimedrol.110mb.com/index16.html]cingular media mall ringtones[/url]
[url=http://dimedrol.110mb.com/index13.html]free cricket motorola ringtones[/url]

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattrezz/Public/king-size-mattress.html]king size mattress[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattrezz/Public/mattress-store.html]mattress store[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattrezz/Public/simmons-mattress.html]simmons mattress[/url]

11:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/tireso/Public/atv-tires.html]atv tires[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/tireso/Public/goodyear-tires-online.html]goodyear tires online[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/tireso/Public/nitto-truck-tires.html]nitto truck tires[/url]

10:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/alyashko/Public/free-halloween-ringtones.html]free halloween ringtones[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/alyashko/Public/free-mp3-ringtones.html]free mp3 ringtones[/url]

2:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mabilnik/Public/cell-phone-plan.html]cell phone plan[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mabilnik/Public/cellular-phone-comparison.html]cellular phone comparison[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/mabilnik/Public/cellular-phone-game.html]cellular phone game[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/mabilnik/Public/cellular-phone-ring.html]cellular phone ring[/url]

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/debtc/Public/credit-card-debt-consolidation.html]credit card debt consolidation[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/debtc/Public/debt-consolidation-refinance.html]debt consolidation refinance[/url]

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://www11.asphost4free.com/pendosy/download-free-motorola-ringtones.html]download free motorola ringtones[/url]
[url=http://www11.asphost4free.com/pendosy/free-polyphonic-ringtones-download.html]free polyphonic ringtones download[/url]

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://ringtones.hostingclub.de/3-free-ringtones-sidekick.html]3 free ringtones sidekick[/url]
[url=http://ringtones.hostingclub.de/free-kyocera-ringtones.html]free kyocera ringtones[/url] - [url=http://ringtones.hostingclub.de/free-metro-pcs-ringtones.html]free metro pcs ringtones[/url] - [url=http://ringtones.hostingclub.de/free-nokia-ringtones.html]free nokia ringtones[/url]

1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all!
It's very nice site. Keep so!
Look it:
[url=http://12351.freegoodies.nl/forum_an.php?forum=12351]free+hardcore+sex+video[/url]
free+hardcore+sex+video
http://12351.freegoodies.nl/forum_an.php?forum=12351
[url=http://pinkworld1.21.forumer.com]pinkworld[/url]
pinkworld
http://pinkworld1.21.forumer.com
[url=http://coupleerotic.jconserv.net]couple+erotic+fetish+guide+sex[/url]
couple+erotic+fetish+guide+sex
http://coupleerotic.jconserv.net
[url=http://12350.freegoodies.nl/forum_an.php?forum=12350]free+sex+trailer[/url]
free+sex+trailer
http://12350.freegoodies.nl/forum_an.php?forum=12350
[url=http://gaymovie.21.forumer.com]gay+porn+movie[/url]
gay+porn+movie
http://gaymovie.21.forumer.com
[url=http://sexchat.jconserv.net]free+sex+chat+rooms[/url]
free+sex+chat+rooms
http://sexchat.jconserv.net

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://rolexx.ringtones.hostingclub.de/preowned-rolex-watch.html]preowned rolex watch[/url]
[url=http://rolexx.ringtones.hostingclub.de/rolex-replica-cheap.html]rolex replica cheap[/url] - [url=http://rolexx.ringtones.hostingclub.de/rolex-replica-fake.html]rolex replica fake[/url]

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dodik2/Public/airline-cheap-florida-tickets.html]airline cheap florida tickets[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dodik2/Public/cheap-airline-tickets-to-london.html]cheap airline tickets to london[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/dodik2/Public/cheap-last-minute-airline-tickets.html]cheap last minute airline tickets[/url]

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/polet1/Public/cheap-flight-from-uk.html]cheap flight from uk[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/polet1/Public/cheap-flight-international.html]cheap flight international[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/polet1/Public/cheap-flight-sydney.html]cheap flight sydney[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/polet1/Public/cheap-flight-ticket.html]cheap flight ticket[/url]

7:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://hometown.aol.com/formabilioz/100-free-ringtones.html]100 free ringtones[/url]
[url=http://hometown.aol.com/formabilioz/download-free-verizon-ringtones.html]download free verizon ringtones[/url] | [url=http://hometown.aol.com/formabilioz/free-real-music-ringtones-sprint.html]free real music ringtones sprint[/url]

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattress2/Public/denver-mattress.html]denver mattress[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattress2/Public/latex-mattress.html]latex mattress[/url] - [url=http://idisk.mac.com/mattress2/Public/mattress-warehouse.html]mattress warehouse[/url]

6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://bama.ua.edu/~tccc/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000125.html]tramadol 180[/url]
[url=http://bama.ua.edu/~tccc/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000134.html]cheap fioricet[/url] | [url=http://bama.ua.edu/~tccc/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000135.html]buy carisoprodol online[/url]

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/rolexx1/Public/rolex-cellini.html]rolex cellini[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/rolexx1/Public/rolex-for-sale.html]rolex for sale[/url]

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/maluka1/Public/free-arabic-ringtones.html]free arabic ringtones[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/maluka1/Public/free-music-ringtones.html]free music ringtones[/url] * [url=http://idisk.mac.com/maluka1/Public/free-tracfone-ringtones.html]free tracfone ringtones[/url]

8:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dimon2/Public/buy-viagra-internet.html]buy viagra internet[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dimon2/Public/viagra-picture.html]viagra picture[/url]

3:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/avia3/Public/continental-airlines-and-hong-kong.html]continental airlines and hong kong[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/avia3/Public/continental-airlines-presidents-club.html]continental airlines presidents club[/url]

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dimon2/Public/buy-viagra-cheap.html]buy viagra cheap[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/dimon2/Public/viagra-price.html]viagra price[/url]

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/pedali/Public/lacoste-shoes.html]lacoste shoes[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/pedali/Public/red-shoes.html]red shoes[/url]

4:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/sakura57/Public/cialis-canada.html]cialis canada[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/sakura57/Public/viagra-levitra-cialis.html]viagra levitra cialis[/url]

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://idisk.mac.com/toyo13/Public/cingular-8525-case.html]cingular 8525 case[/url]
[url=http://idisk.mac.com/toyo13/Public/cingular-cellphones.html]cingular cellphones[/url] | [url=http://idisk.mac.com/toyo13/Public/cingular-prepaid.html]cingular prepaid[/url]

4:31 PM  
Anonymous carpet said...

black mold exposureblack mold symptoms of exposurewrought iron garden gatesiron garden gates find them herefine thin hair hairstylessearch hair styles for fine thin hairnight vision binocularsbuy night vision binocularslipitor reactionslipitor allergic reactionsluxury beach resort in the philippines

afordable beach resorts in the philippineshomeopathy for eczema.baby eczema.save big with great mineral makeup bargainsmineral makeup wholesalersprodam iphone Apple prodam iphone prahacect iphone manualmanual for P 168 iphonefero 52 binocularsnight vision Fero 52 binocularsThe best night vision binoculars here

night vision binoculars bargainsfree photo albums computer programsfree software to make photo albumsfree tax formsprintable tax forms for free craftmatic air bedcraftmatic air bed adjustable info hereboyd air bedboyd night air bed lowest pricefind air beds in wisconsinbest air beds in wisconsincloud air beds

best cloud inflatable air bedssealy air beds portableportables air bedsrv luggage racksaluminum made rv luggage racksair bed raisedbest form raised air bedsaircraft support equipmentsbest support equipments for aircraftsbed air informercialsbest informercials bed airmattress sized air beds

bestair bed mattress antique doorknobsantique doorknob identification tipsdvd player troubleshootingtroubleshooting with the dvd playerflat panel television lcd vs plasmaflat panel lcd television versus plasma pic the bestThe causes of economic recessionwhat are the causes of economic recessionadjustable bed air foam The best bed air foam

hoof prints antique equestrian printsantique hoof prints equestrian printsBuy air bedadjustablebuy the best adjustable air bedsair beds canadian storesCanadian stores for air beds

migraine causemigraine treatments floridaflorida headache clinicdrying dessicantair drying dessicantdessicant air dryerpediatric asthmaasthma specialistasthma children specialistcarpet cleaning dallas txcarpet cleaners dallascarpet cleaning dallas

6:11 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home