Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fence sitting

I awoke sad, depressed.....dreading the u/sound. We drove in silence. It was awful. We waited in the waiting room for over half an hour. Dozens of very happy pregnant couples exited from their u/sounds with their dvd's showing their babies. They were all smiling, rebooking their next u/sound.

Finally we were called in. She took her time, measuring my ovaries....& then measured the gestational sac. I was jumping ahead of her asking questions.....'Is there a heartbeat, how big does it measure?'...and so our baby is measuring at only 5weeks & 4 days when it should be measuring 6 weeks & 2 days - a 5 day discrepancy. The heartbeat is 112 / minute.

The sonographer seemed to think it was good news. I didn' my miscarriage management nurse had told me it would need to measure the right size. We were taken in to see a dr. He was lovely. He was sitting on the fence....the good news he said is there's a heartbeat but it is smaller than it should be.....he suggested we u/sound again next Thurs.

I was tryng to integrate the info. It could have been worse but was not very good....we're still in with a chance but it feels like ...just by a thread.

We waited for our RE to call.....he shared the same view. He is sitting on the fence, wouldn't give me a likelihood or probability. He said it could easily go either way. He is concerned abt the size but there is still a heartbeat. He said anything over 110 beats / min is ok & were just excruciating waiting.

We went back to my acupuncturist (the old one as at least I can just pop in to her) she was worried abt the size & heartbeat but (would you believe) this pulses are strong, good & she said she is positive & hopeful.

So...who knows.....its out of my hands....Its a jewish holiday coming up & we'll bein synagogue quite a lot over the w'end so lots of praying opportunities.

Is it possible our baby can just be a tad small but OK?

Do any of you know abt size discrepancies & heartbeats & all these terrifying things?????

This will be an excruciating week.

Oh yeh....I've decided to use both acupuncturists as I see you cant just pop into J but she is more communicative but at least with L, I can just pop in so have decided to utilise both as I need them. My intuition is at the moment acup once / twice a week will help so Im going to go back to L on Monday.


Anonymous mae said...

Am praying and hoping for you.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Nikole said...

Sending you strength, courage, and hope.

9:09 PM  
Blogger serenity said...

Oh sweetie... I am hoping and hoping and HOPING for you. You and your little one are in my thoughts.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Oh how I hate ambiguous news! I'm sorry this must be total torture. I'll add my prayers to yours this weekend.

FWIW, I've heard plenty of embryos measuring off dates who have turned out fine - e.g., one of Jenn's twins was 'too small' throughout the pregnancy.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

no words...only I am thinking about you and wishing you the strength you need.

1:51 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

no words...only I am thinking about you and wishing you the strength you need.

1:51 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

Same as what Stephanie said! Just hoping and hoping and hoping...

2:00 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Oh, I'm holding onto hope for you!

3:32 AM  

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